Compete or Fight

This is the classic win/lose situation, where the strength and power of one person wins the conflict.

It has its place, but anyone using it needs to be aware that it will create a loser and, if that loser has no outlet for expressing their concerns, then it will lead to bad feeling.

Collaboration

This is the ideal outcome: a win/win situation.

However, it requires input of time from those involved to work through the difficulties and find a way to solve the problem that is agreeable to all.

Compromise or Negotiation

This is likely to result in a better result than win/lose, but it’s not quite win/win.

Both parties give up something in favour of an agreed mid-point solution. It takes less time than collaboration but is likely to result in less commitment to the outcome.

Denial or Avoidance

This is where everyone pretends there is no problem.

It’s helpful if those in conflict need time to ‘cool down’ before any discussion or if the conflict is unimportant but cannot be used if the conflict won’t just die down. It will create a lose/lose situation, since there will still be bad feeling, but no clearing the air through discussion, and results, in Transactional Analysis terms, in ‘I’m not OK, you’re not OK’.

Smoothing Over the Problem

On the surface, harmony is maintained but, underneath, there is still conflict.

It is like the situation above, except that one person is probably “OK” with this smoothing, while the other remains in conflict, creating a win/lose situation again. It can work where preserving a relationship is more important than dealing with the conflict right now but is not useful if others feel the need to deal with the situation.