Your task at this stage is to listen to the participants’ stories, whether together or separately, and clarify what they want to achieve from the process.

If you are meeting both participants together, it is helpful if you can summarise the main points of conflict in a neutral way that both can agree upon, and propose an agenda for the discussion: an order in which issues should be discussed. It can also be helpful at this stage to name the emotions that participants are feeling, to show that they have been recognised and understood.