Initial conversations can help us to relax. A lot of rapport-building happens without words and through non-verbal communication channels.

We create and maintain rapport subconsciously through matching non-verbal signals, including body positioning, body movements, eye contact, facial expressions and tone of voice with the other person.

Watch two friends talking when you get the opportunity and see how they sub-consciously mimic each other’s non-verbal communication.

We create rapport instinctively. It is our natural defence from conflict, which most of us will try hard to avoid most of the time.

It is important to use appropriate body language. We read and instantly believe what body language tells us, whereas we may take more persuading with vocal communication. If there is a mismatch between what we are saying and our body language, then the person we are with will believe the body language. Building rapport, therefore, begins with displaying appropriate body language. This usually means being welcoming, relaxed and open.

As well as paying attention to and matching body language with the person we are with, it also helps to match their words. Reflecting back and clarifying what has been said are useful tactics for repeating what has been communicated by the other person. Not only will it confirm that you are listening but also give you opportunity to use the words and phases of the other person, further emphasising similarity and common ground.

The way we use our voice is also important in developing rapport. When we are nervous or tense, we tend to talk more quickly. This in turn can make you sound more stressed. We tend to vary our voices, pitch, volume and pace to make what we are saying more interesting, but it also has an effect on how we come across. Try lowering your tone and talk more slowly and softly. This will actually help you develop rapport more easily.