We examine the world through our five main senses and interpret these signals with both our logical and emotional parts of the brain. Symbolically, we can say that the information goes through a number of filters before we integrate the data into our world model and decide what to do about it.

Hence to change our responses we need to look at both pathways that lead to behaviour, one is the logical path and the other is the short circuited emotional path.

You can change your responses based on the following:

• Logical path. What you think of the world is not the real world. You can change the way you look at the world by examining your world map. Your world map is a product of your brain and you change it as you see fit to derive a different behaviour. In other words, you adjust your attitude towards the world to get a different response.
• Emotional path. With short circuiting amygdala, you need to look at the triggers that start the process and lead to your quick reactions. You can monitor your sensory and train yourself to quickly respond to specific triggers that lead to emotional behaviours. By recognising the triggers, you can attempt to filter the data and effectively eliminate your automatic responses.

Let us consider an example for the logical path. Earlier you saw the example that you were given a challenging job but were shocked with the reaction of your boss to the point that you decided to quit the job! To reduce your emotional response, you can change your point of view. Maybe your boss is imposing a high standard on you because he expects you to perform in high profile situations later on. Maybe, he is too busy and will get back to you later to praise you. Maybe he is simply not competent enough to act as a manager which should be a great incentive for you to work hard and get his job!

All of this suggests that the first step to become emotionally skilled is to increase you self-awareness. When you know what is happening to you, you stand a better chance to rectify it and respond correctly to minimise the impact of your reactive behaviour on your future.