Fortunately, our understanding of behavioral Styles and communications lets us recognize back-up behavior for what it is. Rather than reacting to that behavior in ways that might make matters worse, we can respond to the behaviors with appropriate strategies that will reduce relationship tension before it has a chance to become significant stress.

If you are dealing with a style that moves fast, you move fast. If an individual is more comfortable taking time to get to know people, allow more time for the appointment and avoid looking at your watch. Move at his or her pace and priority, not yours. When you understand someone’s behavioral style needs, you can help create a climate of good chemistry and mutual trust. As the trust develops and strengthens, the other person—a co-worker, a client or a friend—will begin to tell you what he or she really needs from the relationship. There will be no contests or testing one another. The relationship will become more productive. As you develop better personal interaction, you will also feel more confident.

For our purposes, tension management involves meeting the behavioral needs of the people in a relationship – specifically those needs dictated by their behavioral Styles. In short, you must treat them the way they want to be treated.