To begin, identify what you personally want out of the conflict. Try to state this positively.

Examples:

• I want a fair share of all new customers.
• I want a better working relationship with my manager.
• I want changes to the schedule.

You can create two versions of your personal needs statement: your ideal resolution and your realistic resolution. Alternatively, you could frame your statement into several steps if the conflict is complicated.

Another useful exercise is to break down your statement into wants and needs. This is particularly valuable if your statement is vague. Let’s take the statement, “I want changes to the schedule,” as an example.

This will give you some bargaining room during the conflict resolution process, and will help ensure that you get what you need out of the solution. In the example above, you may be willing to give up a more regular schedule if more notice for schedule changes is provided.