Setting ground rules

Ground rules provide a framework for people to resolve their conflict. Ground rules should be set at the beginning of any conflict resolution process. They can be very brief or very detailed – whatever the situation requires.

Ground rules should be:

  • Developed and agreed upon by both parties.
  • Positive when it is possible. (For example, “We will listen to each other’s statements fully,” rather than, “We will not interrupt.”)
  • Fair to both parties
  • Enforceable
  • Adjustable
  • Written and posted somewhere where both parties can refer to it (for more formal dispute resolution processes).

If the parties are using a mediator to help them resolve the conflict, it is important that the ground rules be developed by the parties and not the mediator. The mediator’s role is that of a guide and mentor, not a judge or supreme ruler.

Some examples of ground rules include:

  • We will listen to each other’s statements fully before responding.
  • We will work together to achieve a mutually acceptable solution.
  • We will respect each other as individuals, and therefore not engage in personal insults and attacks.

Participants can use the ground rules throughout the conflict resolution process to monitor and modify their behaviors. Ground rules give participants an objective, logical way of addressing personal attacks and emotional issues.

An example: “Joe, I feel like you have cut off my last several statements. We agreed at the beginning of this that we would listen to each other’s statements fully before answering.”

If the conflict is being mediated, this also gives the mediator a fair way to give participants feedback and help them work with the conflict. Since the same rules are being applied to everyone, it can help the mediator maintain fairness and avoid bias.