Before beginning the conflict resolution process, both parties must agree that they want to resolve the conflict. Without this crucial buy-in step, achieving a win-win solution is close to impossible.

Once participants have agreed to resolve the conflict, it is important to neutralize as many negative emotions as possible. This means giving the participants in the conflict time to vent and work through the feelings associated with the conflict.

Key steps for the people in conflict include:

• Accept that you have negative feelings and that these feelings are normal.
• Acknowledge the feelings and their root causes. Example: “I feel very angry about the way George spoke to me in that meeting.”
• Identify how you might resolve your feelings. Example: “If George apologized to me, I would feel a lot better.”
• This can generate ideas about what the root cause of the conflict is, and how to resolve it. Example: “George and I haven’t been getting along very well since the merger. I wonder if he might be having some stress and anxiety.”